Popped.
If I had three wishes from a genie, I would ask for world peace, to understand what my cat is thinking and to get rid of my acne. (Don’t be upset, because I already mentioned world peace)! I have truly never been part of a losing battle so much so than with my own skin. I doubt anyone worth a conversation has noticed or cared about the minute red dots spattered on my chin or forehead, but in the age of glass skin aspirations online, it’s hard not to be discouraged. I really can’t even remember the times before I was popping, squeezing- then regretting, in front of the mirror.
I had a faint concept of what acne was when I was young, as much attention you would give to applying to college at that age. I assume my parents knew what was in store for me because of my dad’s intense history with blemishes, but what could they do? These teeny, volcanic zits were as naturally engrained in my DNA as much as my green eyes or curly hair. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t scare me- in my fifth-grade class, it actually scared everybody. I had sensed a cavernous lump on my forehead one day, when I grazed my fingers over my face, sliding my hair back. I chose to ignore it, being passive as I could still be at that age. Then an unusual sensation of pain and swelling crept in beneath my skin, begging to be poked and prodded. I warily gave in, until I felt a trickle of bright crimson flow down my face. The sight of it resembled a single gunshot wound, the shooter being my own hormones. My classmates remained silent, each voice hushing lower as I wiped away the remnants of my first ever pimple.
This is where the war began.
I had taken to the internet in standard Gen-Z fashion in hopes of finding the secret solution that everyone before me had missed. I surely thought that I could beat my genetic destiny via a Wiki-how page and some tenacity. “Don’t eat dairy, don’t forget to drink water, don’t touch your face, don’t stress out, don’t eat processed foods.” Well alright then. With age, my struggles became shared, and I could see my own resented qualities in my innocent peers faces. It was easier to accept my flaws when they weren’t just mine. But just as soon as I felt my facial struggles could be matched with the majority, I got older again. Clear, shiny skin enveloped everyone around me, while I awoke to rosacea splotches and deep, leathery scars. I recall nights spent with my back pushed up against the bathroom wall, while my dad gripped a dentist’s tool, excavating my blackheads to no end.
I promised myself I wouldn’t graduate college with acne, that such an adolescent issue shouldn’t be holding me back. But in just a few months i’ll be crossing the stage, pimples and all. It has taken me this entire time to look past my own flaws in the way others can. I don’t, in-fact, use my animosity for zits against myself (I’d like to include that a pimple was growing on my chin during this entire writing process. I’ll take it as a sign.) Perhaps instead of going to war, I’ll simply walk away from my mirror next time.
Sidebar: Skin Care Products
I’ve become so accustomed to securing the best skincare products and routines, I can safely consider it a beloved hobby. Here are some I recommend!
LaRoche-Posay Hydrating Gentle Cleanser: This was actually recommended to me by a dermatologist- I love the how it doesn’t leave my skin dry after washing. And they have reusable packaging options.
CosRX Snail 96 Essence: I’ve been using this for years, I really feel it helped me develop a glow to my skin. Who knew snails could do that?
LaRoche-Posay Cicaplast Balm B5: Okay, okay, I really like this brand. This balm takes the redness right out of my face and cools it down, without a green tint. I smear it all over!
Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Overnight Rehydrating Mask: I know this can be used as a mask, but I like to put it under my eyes for dryness, and brightening.
Hero Cosmetics Invisible Mighty Patch: These are the ONLY pimple patches I have found to actually stick to my face while going undetected, I buy a box a week.
